GOTCHA DAY

GOTCHA DAY

Today was unlike any other day I have ever experienced. First and most importantly, We received Kai into our family. Kai is our third son, and I don’t mean to diminish the significance or wonder of the day each of our other sons came to us. But this was something different.

We are halfway around the world and, as I predicted in my previous post, we did indeed leave the tourist route behind today.

Actually, our departure from the “Touristy China” was made in gradual steps. This morning we headed out of the hotel in Beijing on our own to buy some bottled water, and Moon Cakes. We were told a small grocery store was about two blocks away. So, all four of us headed out early to check it out.

Here’s the front, and the lobby of our hotel…



Here is one block away…


We found the contrast quite amazing!

At about 10:00 A.M. The guide who took us to Bao Ding and ShiJiazhuang met us at the hotel, and we departed by van. It was about a two hour drive to Bao Ding. The countryside was beautiful, and the roads were very nice. Still, you could see that China is undergoing rapid change, and poverty is still a major issue.

When we got to Bao Ding we were a little overwhelmed by the conditions many people live in. The S.W.I. where Kai lived was a palace compared to it's immediate surroundings. I'm not sure how to really explain the whole day.

Our "Gotcha Day" experience was unlike any of the many ones we have read or heard about. We first met Kai at the S.W.I. Here's a picture taken when we first saw him...

He had just woken from a nap, and his nanny brought him into the room where we were meeting with the assistant director of the S.W.I.

I want to tell you all about what happened but it's too much right now for me to process, so I'm going to post a few more pictures for right now...

The front entrance to Kai's S.W.I.


The photography studio where we got Kai's passport photo taken


Cam and Ben playing hackeysack with a local guy from Bao Ding in front of the photo studio


In the van on the way to ShiJiazhuang, Tina finally has GOT HIM!!


At the hotel Scott get's to hold him...


After his bath we manage to get a hint of a smile from him...



Then Kai fell quickly to sleep with Tina on the bed...



We had the hotel bring us a crib for him to sleep in...



The day was even more overwhelming for Kai than it was for us. He basically just shut down. We're a little worried about him, but think he will be fine once he's rested and begins to adust to changes in his world.

And finally, I want to wish everyone a very happy Mid-Autumnal Festival! I hope you saw the full moon and could be with your family. We are very happy that our WHOLE family was united on this very special day! Here is a picture of the Moon Cakes we bought...


And here are two poems about the moon...

The Mid-Autumn Moon

by Li Qiao

A full moon hangs high in the chilly sky,

All say it's the same everywhere, round and bright.

But how can one be sure thousands of li away

Wind and perhaps rain may not be marring the night?

The Yo-MeiMountain Moon

by Li Bai

The autumn moon is half round above the Yo-mei Mountain;

The pale light falls in and flows with the water of the Ping-chiang River.

Tonight I leave Ching-chi of limpid stream for the three Canyons.

And glide down past Yu-chow, thinking of you whom I can not see.

Tomorrow is a long day, and it is late.
Good Night.

On Our Way!

I couldn't get my computer to work on the Beijing hotel’s network. So I wasn't able to update the blog. The language barrier is preventing me from working through it with the business center staff. Guess how annoying this is for Scott!!!

We are now in ShiJiazhuang. Internet in the hotel here is working - pretty much. So now I am posting a long message I emailed friends and family...

Wednesday, Sept. 14 – Bellingham:
This is it then. We are headed to the airport. This has been an amazing process so far, and yet we really haven't begun yet.
Cam and Ben are very excited. They have some concerns about their schoolwork (Tina and I do too) but this is too big a change for our family to not have them there with us. In addition to getting Kai, and seeing China, we are also really looking forward to having this special time with Cam and Ben. A lot of why we are making this big change in our lives is because we love these two boys so much. I think they are going to be fantastic big brothers for Kai!
.....
Writing now from SeaTac. We had a nice drive down. The boys were really helpful and cooperative. Made good time. The TV's here in the airport are playing CNN's report on Bush's talks with China and the trade issues around intellectual property rights.
Tina's making us take Airborne supplements - they're these vitamin herbal things you dissolve in water. She's certain we have to take them on a very specific schedule. They don't taste bad so, "what the heck, I'll try it." She promises this will keep us healthy.

I made all of us sit in seats where I could steal electricity for the laptop. I'm conserving battery for the flight time. Tina says I can't buy internet access because I don't need to check my email. She's probably right.

We are traveling with a crazy amount of luggage! At one point we were talking about doing just carry on. Then somehow we got concerned about carry on weight limits in China, so we nixed the idea. But then once we decided we were going to check bags it suddenly became "Anything Goes". We now look like Sherpas trying to set up a base camp. We are very prepared though. To give you an idea of just how prepared we are, we are taking tea to China with us. It's true! I'm a little worried about how we'll move this much gear when we add a toddler to the mix. Tina got a little backpack for Kai the other day though so maybe he'll lighten the load on the rest of us a bit. Ya think?
.....
Made it to LA. I'm typing this on battery power. The electrical outlets in LA are much harder to get to. I think I can find one now that we're in the international terminal. In the terminal where Alaska Air lands it's pretty desperate. The few available electrical outlets are in hard to get to places, the ones we saw were already claimed by desperate looking technophiles camped on the floor with their laptops and cellphone chargers. I told Tina that I have more dignity than that. Actually I was just afraid of being bitten if I tried getting closer to the outlets.
.....
Found a power outlet! It's nice and quiet and out of the way; even has real airport seating next to it. Cam's off somewhere now on his cell phone talking with Brittni. She told him that if you Google "ocheltree adoption blog" we're the first hit! Always like seeing our Google ratings going up! We saw a Caucasian couple at the ticket counter with a little Chinese daughter. We are wondering if they're going back to get her a sister.
We ate Mexican food with the boys. They are starting to get more interactive with us already. I think they are pretty excited about what's about to happen. Tina and I listened to the iPod together on the way down. I have a mix of sentimental songs I put together that was fun to hear with her. She accused me of purposefully trying to make her cry. I am feeling very emotional even without listening to overly sentimental songs. I hope I'm not a total wreck next Monday!
So far the trip is feeling really good. Of course we still haven't left the North American continent. The real trip begins in a few hours from now. I think when we touch down in Guangzhou the reality of what we are doing is going to start to really sink in.
...The boys were hackey-sacking for a bit and met a young woman named Amina who teaches English in Guangzhou. She was telling them about a similar game played in China with a kind of shuttlecock. She wrote the name of the game on a piece of paper for them so they can try to find the it while we're there. It's called jian zi or jian qiu.
I made Tina go with me to talk with the couple with the little Chinese daughter. They were really nice. They are on their way to get little sister! They are traveling to a different province, but will be at the White Swan the same time we are.
.....
We are now on the plane. The REAL plane. Next stop China!
The plane is nice. We're in the cheap seats, but they're nice. We each have little TV screens and headphones. Each seat comes with a fancy little zippered pouch with toiletries in it: toothbrush, toothpaste, lotion, lip balm, comb, blindfold, and earplugs. The boys were very impressed with this.
...
Well, I thought I would use the computer on the plane but there just wasn't enough room. We're in the Guangzhou airport now. It's very nice. We made the mistake of thinking that our large suitcases were checked all the way through from Seattle to Beijing, but when we got to the desk for international flights connecting to domestic they told us we had to claim our bags and take them through customs before rechecking them. This meant we had to go backwards through a documentation checkpoint we had already cleared, but it was no problem. Some people on an electric scooter car convinced us that our connecting gate was too far to walk so we paid to be driven. This was a treat because the airport was virtually empty and the driver was just flooring it! It was just like Mister Toad's Wild Ride! We bought some water, and the boys got a Red Bull (different can - short, fat and gold) and a can of Pringles. Two of the shops had beautiful displays of Moon Cakes.
So far we are holding up quite well. It was a long flight be we made it okay. Next time we do that leg we'll have a toddler with us. There were several little kids on the plane and they all seemed to survive it without too much fussing.

The service on the flight was very nice. We rode a 777. Between the meals, the stewardesses made tea and snacks at the back of the plane. If you wanted something you could just walk back and get it. They had tea, and cup-o-noodles, and rolls. People would just hang out back there and visit. I kept thinking there was a line for the lavatory, but I'd get back there and it was vacant, the people were just standing around. I can't imagine flight attendants in the US letting people help themselves to stuff and hang out at the back of the plane like that, it was kind of cool.
....
The airport in Guangzhou was very nice and modern. We were there at about 6:00 AM so it was not crowded at all.

Our last flight, from Guangzhou to Beijing went very smooth. The plane we rode was newer and the seats seamed more comfortable. They fed us again. China Southern Airlines is not stingy with the food, and it's not too bad for airline food. They also gave each of us a little box with two Moon Cakes in it before we got off the plane. The flight attendant said, "Happy Mid-Autumnal Festival!" to each of us as she gave the shiny boxes.
When we got off the plane we noticed that many of the Chinese passengers had large beautiful boxes of Moon Cakes they were taking with them.
Because of our mix up with our bags in Guangzhou they ended up being the last ones loaded on the plane. This made them the first ones off in Beijing. We were amazed at how quick we got our luggage. Actually the airports in both Guangzhou and Beijing were very easy for us to get through, and things moved very quickly.
When we cleared the last security checkpoint we saw our guide, Chen Chen, standing there holding a sign with our name on it. She had a driver with a large van for us. We went to the hotel where we dropped off our luggage and met another family who is here with our agency too. Their names are Jean and Matt Oppliger. It's amazing how much we have in common with them. They are traveling with their 10 year old son, Adam.
Chen Chen then took all seven of us to Tian an Men Square and The Forbidden City. At this point Tina, Cam, Ben, and I had know idea how long we had been running or on how little sleep, but we were determined to push on. To help keep us energized, Chen took us to a Starbucks on the way. It seemed more than a little ironic that the first place went to in Beijing was the last place we stopped on the way out of Bellingham. Globalization.

Tian an Men Square and The Forbidden City were amazing! Chen was a fantastic guide and gave us a great walking history lesson. I expected it to be much more crowded than it was. There were a couple pushy vendors, but they weren't obnoxious. Some of the beggars were very sad to see, as a few had severe deformities. We expected to see this so it wasn't too overwhelming.
I have to write something about the driving in Beijing. All the blogs I've read by other people mention this. I was really expecting something more overwhelming than what we have experienced so far. It is dense, and there are many, many bicycles, but it wasn't all that crazy. If anything it was kind of beautiful. There was this surreal quality to the way the drivers could move around one another. It’s very different from how traffic moves in the U.S. It’s much more fluid.

Saturday we got up and had breakfast in the hotel. Chen Chen met us and the Oppligers again in the lobby at 8:30 A.M. She had a driver take us out to The Great Wall. She had vast amounts of history to share with us on the way. She also told us about how she grew up in one of the old courtyard communities in Beijing. These areas are rapidly disappearing. The few remaining streets like this near the center of the city are now being preserved as historical districts.
We stopped at a “Jade Factory” on the way. This is a government run store where they give you a touristy lesson in how jade is carved, and how to determine it’s quality. We also had an opportunity to buy some very expensive trinkets. We made it out without succumbing to the temptation, though we did buy a couple inexpensive items.

When we got to The Wall Chen Chen waited at the bottom, and gave us two hours to hike up and back. At this point we split from the Oppligers who went up the “West Wall”. We took the “East Wall” which was less crowded and a bit easier of a climb. We had a beautiful day. The day before at Tian an Men Square and The Forbidden City was very hazy and overcast. Today had a beautiful breeze and the sky was brilliantly clear. The visibility was amazing. We could not have asked for a more wonderful day for visiting “The Great Wall”. On the way back, Chen Chen took us to lunch at a restaurant inside a “Friendship Store”. These are stores the government originally created just for foreigners. Another opportunity to buy expensive trinkets!

So far we have been on a pretty sheltered tourist track. I think this is about to change as we head out tomorrow for Kai’s province.

NOW THE BIG NEWS…
Just as we got in the van this morning, Chen Chen turned to us and said that our plans for tomorrow had been changed. Originally, we were to drive to Shijaizhuang. We would stop in Bao Ding on the way to see the city where Kai lives, but we wouldn’t be able to visit the orphanage. They would bring him to us on Monday in Shijaizhuang.
Instead, she told us, we will now be going to the orphanage tomorrow, and we will receive Kai then!!!!!!

This means that we will get to have Kai with us on the Moon Festival!

Please hold our family in your prayers,

Love,
Scott, Tina, Cam & Ben (and soon Kai)

The Real Gear...

Okay, we went over the electronics junk. Now here's the real packing...
To give you an idea of what's been going on around here, this is a look at what Tina has been working on...

Kai's Suitcase and what's inside:


Clothes:
His clothes and shoes are sorted into different ziplock bags (here's a couple of them) to help them pack tighter and keep things organized while traveling. We are also bringing diapers/pull-ups and swimming diapers.


First Aid:
Medicine supplies include: body lotion, liquid Tylenol, PediaCare cough medicine, antihistamine,
A+D Ointment, Vicks, Saline spray, anti-gas medicine, prescription antibiotics and scabies medicine.


Toddler Chow!
We are taking some Gerber cereal bars and fruit snacks, as well as packets of formula and rice cereal. And of course we are taking along Cheerios!


Toys:
Stacking cups, board book, busy book, rings, colored silks, baby doll, Hot Wheels, beach ball, bubbles, etc


More Stuff:
The item on the left is a "Hip-Hammock" it's like a baby sling, but for older toddlers. We hope to use it instead of a stroller as much as possible. One nice thing about this is it will let us have him "on" us. Physical contact is important for bonding!
And lastly, the biggest suitcase we are taking is filled with blankets, clothes and toys we are donating to his orphanage.

Gear

I was put in charge of getting our electronics together. We want to document our trip as thoroughly as possible so we are carrying a fair bit of stuff.

Video Equipment:

First, Cameron will be videotaping. Both for us, and for his high school senior culminating project. So we are taking our somewhat dated and bulky Sony digital high-8 camcorder, four 90 minute blank tapes, extra camcorder battery, charger, "mono-pod", mini tri-pod, and lamp attachment.

Computer Equipment:

For emailing family and friends, updating our blog, unloading pix off the digital camera, watching DVD's, etc. we are taking along my computer. I have the Apple power adapter kit so we will be able to plug it in while we're there.

We are also taking an Apple iSight camera with us. I have equipped my mother and sister each with one of these. The plan is that we will try to video-conference with them while we are in China so they can see Kai while we're there. We'll see how this works out, internet bandwidth and time zones may work against us on this one. If it doesn't work out we will have the system in place and be able to use it when we get home.

iPod Stuff:

We are also taking my iPod mini, it's computer adapter, earbuds, earbud splitter (so two people can listen on the plane), and the fancy little tubular gizmo at the top is little battery operated speaker set so you can hear the iPod without earphones. The main purpose of the iPod is for helping us communicate with Kai. We have about 170 phrases in Mandarin for adoptive parents stored on it. These range from: "I love you." to "Do you need to pee?" We have mastered a few of them, but with the little speaker thingy we might be able to play them for him so he can hear someone pronouncing things correctly. Again, this may be less than practical in reality, but we're going to give it a try.

More Power:

This is the adapter kit I'm taking to plug in the camcorder charger and rechargeable batteries for the digital camera. All the equipment we're taking has AC adapters that are auto-ranging from 100-240 input. This means that we don't need a transformer, just the plug adapters to fit the outlets.

The Map Room Scene...

So is your geographical knowledge of China better than mine was 9 months ago?
If not here's a visual aid...



We will be landing briefly in Guangzhou on our way to Beijing.
Touring in Beijing for two days, then driving to Shijiazhuang where we will get Kai.
After 6 nights in Shijiazhuang, we will fly from there back to Guangzhou.
We will spend 4 nights in Guangzhou before flying home.
I have marked these three cities with red dots. Note the distance key in the bottom right corner.

Our Itinerary...

Here is the preliminary schedule for our trip. I think this might have been translated.

Sep.16th : Arrive Beijing at 11:00
Transfer to hotel. Hu Tong Tour. (Chang’an Grand Hotel)
Sep.17th : Greatwall. Lunch.
Sep.18th : As they will do adoption at Shijiazhuang. Which take 3.5 hours by tour bus. I arrange local travel agency come to Beijing to pick them up instead of take flight.(more expensive). And BaoDing is on the way about half way there. They could stop there and see the city where their child from. I suppose they will like this.
Beijing-ShiJiazhuang by tour van. Leave around 11:00.
See BaoDing city on the half way. (but they couldn’t visit SWI because they do not allow visitors).
We will arrange a van with 8 seats. **(since it’s more expensive with van with more seats, like 25 seats). So they could think about how may luggage they will take. Hope it’s enough for them. Please tell us with this will be too small because of too much luggage (Century Hotel)
Sep.19th : Meet child, sign agreement.
Sep.20th : Adoption registration, notary and apply passport.
Sep.21st : Half day tour to ZhaoZhou Bridge.
Sep.22nd : Half day free.
Sep.23rd : Take passport in late afternoon. Should be 16:30.
So, I couldn’t arrange them go to Guangzhou this day. (there is only flight to Guangzhou everyday).
I will ask Connie arrange medical in Guagnzhou in the good way to make sure it is done before appointment.
Sep.24th : ShiJiazhuang-Guangzhou by CZ6229(13:00-15:40). (WS Hotel)
Sep.25th : River Cruise.
Sep.26th : Medical in the early morning. Visa appointment at 09:30.
Sep.27th : Take visa in the afternoon.
Sep.28th : Leave Guanghzou-Home by CZ327 at 21:00.

The Golden Ticket...

This is a scan of our Travel Approval (TA). We received two copies of this document, it is on very fancy paper and has a raised seal. We have to take both copies with us to China, and don't get to keep one.


Tina booked our tickets yesterday. We will fly out of Seattle at 5:00 PM on Wednesday, September 14th. We will take Alaska Air to Los Angeles, then China Southern to Guangzhou, and then finally to Beijing, where we will arrive at 11:00 AM Friday, September 16. The time zone difference from here to there is 15 hours, but this still means our travel time is 27 hours. I hope that Ben's not reading this or we're going to have a problem getting him on the plane!

We Have Our Travel Dates!!!

Have you noticed that all the recent entry headers have ended with multiple exclamation marks? Apparently the posts about frustrating wait times are a thing of the past. I have a feeling that the tone of the next several entries may be that of panic!
I must say that I am very impressed with Children's House International. They have done a very good job for us. As promised, they contacted the U.S. consulate ASAP and have gotten us our consulate appointment! Here's an excerpt from the email message we received:

From: Stefani
Date: August 29, 2005 8:45:24 AM PDT
To: Tina Ocheltree

Subject: appointment confirmations -- as we hoped!


YEEEEHAAAAAW!!! The Consulate has done well and has already confirmed your appointment times.

The three of you Northern WA families will need to be in your provinces no later than Sunday evening 9/18 for Gotcha Day on 9/19. Your Consulate appointments are on 9/26. You will be free to return to the US on 9/28.

You may now go ahead and BOOK your flight tickets. If you can get tickets from the US all the way into your provincial capital where the adoption takes place that is easiest. BOIT will take care of getting you from the provincial capital to Guangzhou and back to your departing city from China. BOIT will also take care of all hotel arrangements. You just sit back and get packed and let BOIT figure the rest of your trip out.

I know you have waited, and waited and now you are going to have to run like the dickens to get everything ready. Let the packing/flight booking race begin in earnest!!

So there's our schedule! We leave in exactly 2 and half weeks and will have Kai on Monday, September 19th.
I think there's still some packing to do...
I wonder if we should do any baby proofing?
Probably should get those airline tickets now...
There's a billion things I'm forgetting

--better go... I promise to post again after we catch our breath (gotta remember to breath)

Finally -- TRAVEL APPROVAL!!!

We got a very surprising phone call this morning! Ginger, from our agency, called to say that they received our Travel Approval from China in the mail today! This is very unusual for TA's to show up on a Saturday, so we were doubly surprised. Now that we have this we can schedule an appointment with the U.S. consulate in Guangzhou and finalize our travel plans. Ginger said that they would call the consulate and beg for an appointment on either September 19th or 26th. This means we could be leaving as soon as September 9!!!
Would write more, but we have packing to do...

More New Photos!!!

We were hoping for Travel Approval, but it's going to be a bit longer still.

But we did get this very interesting looking envelope in the mail...


You can click on it to see what's inside!!
We got the pictures from the disposable camera we had sent to the orphanage!
I've retouched a few of them as Kai was wearing split pants (a popular alternative to diapers in China) and we thought we wouldn't be too happy if someone posted pictures on the internet of us in those; though we are quite certain now that we are getting a boy!
It's exciting to have current pictures of him. We have a much better idea now of how big he is, and how he spends his days. The nannies did a great job of taking pictures of him doing different things. You can tell though that he does not enjoy being posed, but is much happier looking when he's hanging out with his buddies.
We thought about only posting some of the pictures, and maybe leaving out some of the sad face ones. But I think it's better to let people see where he is. I have very mixed feelings when I look at these. The orphanage looks like they have very little for the children, and some of the things are quite worn. But it is clean and the children look happy, and the nannies look nice. I know Kai will be sad and upset to be taken away from his friends and caregivers, but I think his future is going to be quite a bit brighter when he comes home!

Chinese to English • English to Chinese

We got the questions back that we sent to the orphanage. We were really excited to get this information. We were hoping we might get it when went to China and got Kai. To get it ahead time makes us feel really good about the orphanage and the people taking care of Kai. Here's a low-res copy of it .

So what's it say? That's sure what we wanted to know. Well as it turns out, I have a friend I met at a magic convention a couple years ago named Paul. He's a really great guy and was very excited for us when he heard we were adopting a child from China. Paul's wife is Chinese and he spends a fair bit of time in China with his work. Last weekend there was a magic workshop in Everett. The guest magician from California was going to be doing a show in the evening. I knew Paul was going, so I e-mailed him and asked if we might be able to meet up there and go out to dinner afterwards. He thought that sounded great, but suggested we just go back to his house for dinner after the show since it was very close to the theater.

So Tina and I drove down and met Paul and his wife Margaret (Mei Mei) for the magic show, then went over to their house for dinner. We had a GREAT evening! They are a fascinating couple and very, very nice. Mei Mei offered to translate things for us if we needed it so we sent her the copy above once we got it. Below is the translation she sent us...

1) Has he had any new health problems or allergies?
No
(2) What medical treatments has he received?
None
(3) What are his favorite foods and activities?
Food: Milk, noodle and egg roll
Activities: play balls and being outdoor
(4) How would you describe his personality?
He's more comfortable being by himself.
(5) Does he have any likes/dislikes/sensitivities?
love to have new clothes and shoes, play with balls, doesn't like anything furry.
(6) What makes him happy?
being outdoors and play balls
(7) Is he close to a particular nanny? What is this nanny’s name?
they are 2 of them, Tseng Chin-yen and Zhao Er-na
(8) Was a note or any other memento found with him?
None
(9) Do you have his finding ad? Can we have a copy?
Yes, we would love to give you a copy
(10) What else would you like to tell us about him?
quite sensitive, cry a lot, don't force him to do anything when he had his mind set.  Can't eat anything which is hard to chew.
(11) Does the orphanage need anything in particular?
Yes, air conditioning and baby (?) i couldn't read the writing, it wasn't very clear.

Isn't that too cool?!?
We are thrilled to get this information about him. It's not that much really, but it's so much more than we've had! I also think it's cool that it's not all "he's a quiet easy baby". It makes me think the people at the orphanage really know something about him, and that he hasn't just given up on life.


Below is an information card we had translated into Mandarin. We will carry this with us when we are traveling. We will use it to explain to people we meet why we are traveling, and why Kai is with us...


Here's the translation...
Hello!
We are Scott and Tina Ocheltree from Washington State, USA. We live fairly close to Seattle. We are here in your beautiful country to adopt Dang Hui as our son. We promise to teach him about his Chinese culture, and promise we will love him always. His big brothers are traveling with us.

Thank you for the kindness you have shown us.
Scott and Tina Ocheltree, Cameron and Benjamin

New Photos!!!!!!!!!!!

CLICK HERE To See The New Photos!

Today was a VERY exciting day! First we received an email message from our agency saying that our Travel Approval documents are being prepared in China and should be sent to us next week. Once we receive these we will be able to schedule a consulate appointment and make our travel arrangements!

And if that weren't exciting enough, we got email from Adele at BlessedKids.com, her father in China was able to get 6 additional photos from the orphanage for us! She sent us an email with the pictures. The orphanage also sent him back the disposable camera and the answers to the questions we had them send for us! We have not gotten the questions and answers from him yet, but hope to soon. In the meantime, we are thrilled with these pictures.

From what you can see in the background the orphanage facility looks really nice, things are clean and in good shape. The people with Kai look friendly, and he seems to be very happy.
I was actually kind of worried about getting these pictures, because I find a lot of the pictures of the babies in the orphanage look so sad. I was worried that the pictures might make me worried or more anxious for him.
I AM extremely anxious about going to get him now, but I also feel more confidant that he is in a good place, and is being well cared for by good people.

I have put the uncropped pictures in a photo-album page linked on the right called "Updated Pictures of Kai"

As we were looking at the pictures and raving about them to one another we felt a bit like Nicholas Cage and Holly Hunter in Raising Arizona...
Ed: Oh! He's beautiful!
H.I. : Yeah, He's awful damn good. I Think I got the best one.
Ed: I bet they were all beautiful. All babies are beautiful!
H.I. This one's awful damn good though!
Ed: Don't you cuss around him!

Still Waiting...

So we got a complaint today on the lack of updates here.

We are bumming cuz we still are waiting... grrr! The total lack of blog updates is due to the total lack of any news. We are in the final waiting stretch, and all there is to do right now is wait. We were hoping we would be traveling before the end of August, but then we just missed a cut off date for Travel Approvals (TA). So then we were hoping to travel the beginning of September. This weekend we just learned that the administrators of the China Center for Adoption Affairs (CCAA) are doing training and are currently traveling in the U.S. so now everything is being delayed another couple weeks. We are now hoping to be traveling before the end of September.

We are trying to get updated pictures of Kai right now. There is a woman named Adelle who runs a business on the internet called BlessedKids.com. She is Chinese, living in the U.S. Her father still lives in China. Through her, we have arranged to send a "care package" to Kai in the orphanage. it consists of a blankie, teddy bear, photo album, disposable camera and treats for the nannies. We emailed her photos and questions for the nannies about Kai. She then translates the questions and sends them to her dad. he prints out the photos of us and puts them in the photo album for Kai, and buys the gifts and other items in China. We will hopefully get the disposable camera back when we get Kai. She also has her father trying to get new photos of Kai from the orphanage to email to us.

So while we are all waiting, here are some in interesting links you might enjoy...

CLICK HERE to see a video that will make you cry. This is a website for bringmehope.org a foundation that raises money to help families adopt orphans from China.

CLICK HERE to read a great newspaper article that really does a good job of explaining the process of adopting from China as well as the social forces that have created the situation these children are in.

CLICK HERE to see a fantastic slide show of images by Chinese photographer Yann Layma (note: the slideshow takes a few minutes to load)

L.I.D.

Are you keeping up with the adoption lingo acronyms? ...that's Log In Date

I wrote this entry several weeks ago and never got around to posting it...

So we were kind of figuring that this milestone had probably come and passed and we just hadn't heard yet.

Log In Date is when our documents are officially marked as being entered into the Chinese Center for Adoption Affairs system. Our documents had gone to China on May 16th so we were hoping they were logged in by now. Well it turns out that Tina had gotten an email from our agency on the 21st (the solstice), but was in Cheney with Ben, visiting her Dad and her brother's family. Turns out our dossier was logged in on June 2nd! So it only took two weeks from when we sent in our documents.

The time frame now is about 8 to 9 weeks from log in date to Travel Approval (TA) and then two to three weeks from TA to actually getting on the plane and going to get him!!

So let's see... If we count out 12 weeks from our Log In Date, we will almost certainly be traveling by the 25th of August! But that's almost a "worst case scenario" timeline. Of course anything could happen, and it might take a bit longer than that... But Hey! Anything could happen, and we may well be traveling a bit sooner than that!!!

We are hoping that we travel before school starts so the trip doesn't interfere with Cam and Ben's schoolwork/attendance. Even if we do get pushed back into September, we will still take them with us. Tina and I feel that this is too important of a change in our family for them not to be there with us. And the opportunity to visit China is, in our minds, a more than worthy reason to miss a few days of public school.

Thoughts while we wait...

just kinda been thinking...

While we are in this final waiting period, We've had time to reflect on what we are doing. I feel this process is happening as it should and there is a feeling of destiny unfolding. I know I have written about this before, but it's on my mind again now

Tina and I keep looking at each other and asking, "Do we REALLY know what we're doing?" The answer is always a wild, crazy and ecstatic "NO!"

Getting a baby this way contrasts with the organic way we produced our first two in that their is a lot of technical, and formal work involved. But I feel that in spite of that, our motivation has been the same as it was with Cam and Ben, in that this adventure is being driven by our hearts and not our heads. Which I feel is at it should be.

Babies come through acts of love and passion. I try to keep my feeling for Kai and his coming arrival wrapped in sense of wonder and mystery. I know that there is plenty of hard reality ahead of us, and I should be cautious about over-romanticizing it all, but the same thing can be said for making babies the old fashioned way. Given that, I think it's best to enjoy the romance in it!

The Brown Envelope!

Mail From China...

When Cameron picked up the mail on Saturday this was in the mailbox!

It's an information packet from the U.S. Consulate in Guangzhou. It contains forms we need to fill out for Kai's immigration visa and adoption process in China. These are sent out when the I-171 form from the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services Bureau of the U.S. Department of Homeland Security is processed.

In reality, this isn't that big of a step in the process, and not everybody even gets one. The forms inside it are all available online, but it was really cool to have it show up. It's another tangible marker along the path.

One of the forms inside was all written in Chinese, and there is a Xerox copy of a little tourism map of Guangzhou.

Anyway, it got us fired up again as we wait to hear from the CCAA in China. To recap where we are in the process...

We were DTC (documents to China) on May 16. The next step is LID (log in date), when the CCAA (Chinese Center for Adoption Affairs) officially marks our dossier as being in their system. We hope this has happened already but we haven't heard, and may not. What we are really waiting on right now is our TA (travel approval). For most people adopting waiting children right now, the time from DTC to TA is about 8 to 12 weeks. Travel usually happens about 2 to 3 weeks after TA. So worst case scenario, we will be traveling the first week in September, but it could be as soon as the first week of August.

The Nursery is Coming Together

Tina has been working hard on Kai's room...

Well, we started thinking twice about not having a crib. We figure this will be what Kai has been used to sleeping in, so maybe a toddler bed isn't the best idea. And while we plan on having him in our bedroom with us for quite a while when he first comes home, our room is too small to keep an empty crib in before he gets here. So we made a big push to convert the "Green Room" back into a nursery.

Decorating a nursery again at our age is different. There's lots of nostalgia that it brings up.

The one big decision was the theme. We thought about something Chinese, like pandas or dragons, but in the end we went with Winnie the Pooh. There's a lot of really nice "Classic Pooh" stuff out now that has a soft relaxed look, not the loud Disney version.

We took some pictures and put them on a webpage you can see by CLICKING HERE.

Neighborhood Graffiti...

Finally Cleaned the White Board

This has been on our refrigerator white board for about a month now. i finally scanned it so we could wipe it off. Our 14 year old neighbor, Traesti Gudmundson (Ben's best friend) drew this one afternoon. Amazingly "ON" caricatures if you ask me! Well, the pictures we have of Kai are about a year old now, so I'm not real sure about his, but I think Traesti caught him in spirit.

Lucky Number 834798817500

We Are DTC!!!

DTC is adoption lingo for "Dossier To China".

834798817500 is the FedEx tracking number on the package going to China with our Dossier.

We are amazed that we are at this point already! The process we began last December has come to its first major goal. I feel like I've said that a number of times on this journal, but this one is really big. We don't have any more of the busy-work, paper chase tasks to complete. We have some waiting to do, and then we start the REAL process.

So how much waiting is there now?

Well, first we are waiting for LID. That's "Log In Date", the day our dossier is "logged-in" at the CCAA (China Center for Adoption Affairs). This will probably take one to two weeks -- could be a few days, could be a month. Once we get there, it will take about 8 - 9 weeks to get TA (Travel Approval).

Once we have TA it's pretty much get our tickets and go. If you do the math it looks like we will be traveling by early August! This has pretty much been our "aggressive" goal. We wanted to make this happen as quickly as possible. There were a number of times when things seemed to slow down for us, but really it has gone pretty smoothly. This is because Tina has been doing an amazing job of keeping everything organized and following up on everything each step of the way.

It won't be long now, and we will be on our way to bring Kai home!

The Last Piece of Our Paper Chase Puzzle!!

We Got The I-171H !!

That's it! We've got all the pieces of paper we need now to complete our dossier!

We have to get a copy of it notarized, then we send it and a bunch of other forms to Olympia for "authentication". Then we send them all off one more time to the Chinese consulate in San Francisco for authentication (yes, again!) and that's it!

Well almost. Then the whole packet goes to our Agency where it's translated and then sent to China. Since we already have "placement approval" to adopt Kai, the CCAA just has to confirm all our paper work is in order and then we should get our travel approval. Our agency thinks that August is a reasonable timeline to go!

Fingerprinting

Road Trip to the Department of Homeland Security!

Last Monday Tina and I had our appointment to be fingerprinted as part of the process of getting our I171H. We had to be down in Tukwilla, near the SeaTac airport by 10:00 AM. It was a beautiful day and there was very light traffic on the way down. We made great time and had no trouble finding our way to the place.

We cleared the metal detectors and had our belongings x-rayed, it was just like the airport. Then we got in line with a bunch of people who may have been weak and weary, yearning to breath free, but they mostly just appeared to be very concerned as to wether or not they had the correct forms with them. I didn't see any obvious terrorists, so maybe the system is working.

Anyway, they had some really great hi-tech gear for scanning our fingerprints. Everything was digital, no ink! The whole process from beginning to end only took a half an hour.

We headed back north and stopped in Mount Vernon for lunch at the Skagit River Brewery, then went to the Skagit County Health Dept. to get the second round of our Hep A and B vaccine series.

It was actually a pretty fun day and it felt good to be moving forward in the process again.

They told us that it might be helpful if we contacted the offices in Yakima and let them know that we were adopting a child with special needs. So we waited a few days then emailed them the following note:

We are writing to request that our I600A application be expedited. We

have received official approval from the China Center for Adoption

Affairs to adopt a waiting child with special needs. His name is Dang

Hui, he is living in a Social Welfare Institute (orphanage) in Baoding

China. He is 28 months old, and waiting for medical care at Children's

Hospital in Seattle. We have attached a copy of the letter for your

review.

We were fingerprinted in Seattle on Monday, April 18th for our

application for foreign adoption. Our filing date is March 07, 2005.

Many of the documents we have gathered are already notarized are date

sensitive, and will expire if we do not have our dossier sent to China

by late May.

Can you please let us know the status of our application, and the

anticipated time frame for processing our 171H? We appreciate your time

and help in this matter.

Thank you,

Scott and Christine Ocheltree

We were really surprised when we got the following message back yesterday, Monday 4/26...

Scott & Christine,

I gave your request to Adjudicating Officer and he would like to see a

letter from Children's Hospital explaining the disability of the child, what kind

treatment they will be doing and when the child has an appointment to be

there.

You case should be done in 2 or 3 weeks but if you can get that information

we can do it faster.

Thanks

Adoptions Unit

415 N. 3rd. St.

Yakima, WA 98903

((509) 225-6838 (fax)

+Yakima.Adoptions@DHS.GOV

We're not sure how we are supposed to have an appointment at Children's when we can't get travel approval from China without the document we are waiting for from Yakima, but we are going to have our family doctor write a letter for us to fax in. Either way, this is WAY faster than we had anticipated. So things are moving pretty quickly again!!

Fingerprinting Appointment

I guess it is true: When it Rains, it Pours!

So here is my second post in one day, after weeks of no posting.

When Tina checked the mail today she found a package from the USCIS! They have us scheduled to get our fingerprinting done at 10:00 AM on Monday, April 18th!

This means we won't be driving to Yakima next Thursday. I'm kind of bummed about that a bit now, because Pat McCutcheon had asked me if we would stop by their place on our way. It would have been great to see him and Paula and Jasper. I guess we'll have to wait to see them now.

The good news though is that things are moving forward again. The whole idea of scheduling the review in Yakima was actually in hopes of getting them to move on our application before the appointment, and it worked. This was an idea Tina got from other people on the internet who had done the same thing. Funny, ask for an appointment to find out what's taking so long, and suddenly you get your appointment. Apparently all the cliches are true: "when it rains, it pours", and "the squeaky wheel gets the oil".

So stay tooned, it looks like this blog might be getting more interesting here for a while!

PA Arrived!!

Things are starting to happen again!


Today we received the following document via email from our adoption agency. This is the document from the Chinese government saying they approve of our adoption of Kai (Dang Hui). There had been a big lull in seeing anybody receive these since the Chinese New Year celebration. Suddenly the internet boards were all buzzing yesterday as people started to hear from their agencies that their Prior Approvals were arriving via email from China.

Tina was certain that ours would be here any minute. Then last night our internet connection at the house went out so we couldn't check our email. When I got to work this morning I checked my email, and this had arrived at 6:06 PM last night.










The next big hurdle still ahead of us is getting the I-171H form from the

U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services

(USCIS). Now that they are part of the "Department of Homeland Security" this process has become very slow in Washington state.

Tina and I have scheduled an appointment to drive over to Yakima next Thursday to "review our application". Our hope is that we will be able to get them to make some forward movement in the process for us.

Been Waiting For an Update?

well these days it's all about the waiting...

I can't even remember my last post now. The paper work game has kind of mostly wrapped up and we've been waiting to hear back from different government agencies.

I got my birth certificate back from the Garden State with a really official letter explaining that it really is my birth certificate and that it really is from New Jersey. I immediately sent if back to the courier service in New York to get the Chinese Consulate to confirm that it really is my birth certificate and it really is from New Jersey.

We sent our I-600A off to Yakima weeks ago. They sat on it for weeks, then sent it back and said we were supposed to send in the fingerprinting fee with it. We thought we paid that one when we got fingerprinted. So we wrote another check and sent it off again. A little over a week later and it appears they have cashed both our checks so we think that's a good sign. We hope it won't be too long now before we get our fingerprinting appointment so we can get the I-700H and finish assembling our dossier for China.

We are also still waiting to hear back from the CCAA in China. We sent off our LOI (letter of intent) back in early February, and still haven't heard anything there.

We were beginning to feel frustrated with our agency, as we are sitting out here in limbo, so Tina wrote the director an email asking for help, or at least an update. She promptly wrote back a very nice message that basically explained that yes, we are in the hard part of the process now.

It's called waiting.

Who's Idea Was it That I Should be Born in New Jersey?

My parents are in trouble...

I am a Washingtonian! I swear I am. It's the only place I can remember living. Okay, so there's some pretty strong documentation that indicates I spent a bit of time early on in New Jersey, but hey, that was not my fault!

My mother is a native of Washington, shouldn't I get credit for that? My wife and both my kids are native Washingtonians. I like that word, Washingtonian. I like Bellinghamster even better, and since I've lived here longer than anywhere else, I claim that designation too! Hey, are people from Vermont called Vermontsters?

Anyway, my birth certificate has to be "Authenticated" by the Secretary of State of New Jersey's office.

Apparently you can just walk right in there on any business day and they'll take care of it for you while you wait. Isn't that convenient? What a great service! Maybe I'll just head on over there on my lunch break tomorrow and get that thing authenticated. Oh wait, their office is in Trenton!

Time zones, UPS, Return Postage....

Heavy sigh, count to 10

yi
er
san
si
wo
liu
qi
ba
jiu
shi

(that's counting to 10 in Mandarin)

So, I wonder if Kai will think of himself as a Washingtonian? As he grows up, will he remember anything from his life in China? I hope we can visit the SWI where he is living, and that we will meet the "aunties" who are caring for him. I want to have video for him to see as he grows up, so he can see and remember the people who have loved and cared for him.

Hmmm... His birth certificate is going to be from China. Man, I hope that's not a big problem for him when he's 43. I guess I'll quit complaining about the whole New Jersey thing...

Destiny and Adoption

Everything is happening for a reason...

This idea of destiny has really been on our minds a lot lately. This feeling that Kai is meant to be with us and that we are meant to be with him.

The concept of destiny is popular with adoptive families. It is reassuring in many ways. I recently read an article in the magazine "Adoptive Families" by Bonnie Perkel that talked about this, at one point Ms. Perkel says:

"

I spoke with some of my philosophy professors about the theme of adoption and destiny. One said that international adoption may be a new kind of conception, in which “a being may be going through whatever body they can” to arrive in the family and culture where they belong. In other words, destiny will bring them to a new kind of family not based on biology."

When I read this I thought her philosophy professors must be anthroposophists (Waldorf word, sorry). This idea of incarnating souls choosing a path into this world fits right in with their ideas.

Could this be what's happening? What explains all the coincidences and strong feelings we have around this?

I like the quote from the end of the movie, Forrest Gump, where Forrest says, "

I don't know if we each have a destiny, or if we're all just floatin' around accidental-like on a breeze. But I, I think maybe it's both, maybe both happening at the same time."

I-600A Is Off To Yakima

Great News From Work!

School Specialty Announced a New Adoption Assistance Benefit Program.

This is one of those amazing things that comes along and makes you think, "maybe we are supposed to be doing this now!"

Today at work I got an email with the following information in it:

School Specialty, Inc. has established an Adoption Assistance Plan to reimburse Associates for all or a portion of the cost of adopting a child. The Plan will apply to adoptions that become finalized on/after February 1, 2005. The maximum aggregate amount that will be reimbursed for the adoption of any one child under this Plan, less applicable withholdings, is $5,000.00.

WOOO HOOOO!!!

This is SO cool!! Major kudo's to School Specialty Inc.!! Which is a pretty amazing thing coming from me as I usually have a pretty good rant on the evils of this corporation. So anyway, in recognition of their potential help with bringing Kai home, here's their logo:

And it's even linked to their corporate website. If you'd like to check them out, click away!

We Finished Our Home Study!

Monday was our home visit, and the boys officially gave their permission for us to adopt.

It's been pretty busy, so the blogging is slowing down a little.

Yesterday was Monday, and we had our home visit with our social worker, JoAnn. She has really been a great resource for us as she has so much personal experience. She has three adopted children of her own: a 24 year old son from Colombia, a 20 year old daughter from Korea, and a 15 year old son from Colorado.

She's very easy to talk with, and I know she's on our side, but I still would feel somewhat anxious when thinking about our interviews beforehand. When we actually did the interviews, I focused on relaxing and just being as honest and open. It was actually a very interesting process. It's kind of cathartic to talk to someone about your life. At times I would get somewhat self conscious, as the conversation seemed kind of one sided. I like talking about myself, but I usually try to keep things balanced, and ask questions about the other person. That's now how these conversations go.

Anyway, she came to our house on Tuesday afternoon. We had cleaned and cleaned and cleaned! I don't think she cared much about the cleaning though. She had us show her around, and she was very nice and complementary. Tina thought that she really liked our house. I think she probably did, but I know that she probably looks as lots of people's homes so the cynic in me can't help but think she might just have been being nice. She did want to see the labyrinth because she had read about it here on the blog. We talked to her about the neighborhood, and showed her the different things we had done to the house. We even dragged her into our bedroom closet to see how amazing it is. I think that it's hard to appreciate though if you haven't lived with it in it's prior condition for years and years.

She didn't seem concerned by the fact that there is no obvious nursery. She asked to see the fire extinguisher, and that we demonstrate a working smoke detector. Thankfully she had warned us she would need to see these. We had a working smoke detector, but we didn't have a fire extinguisher before, so we had picked one up over the weekend. we also had replaced the battery in the smoke detector, just to make sure. And we added two more smoke detectors: one in the kitchen, and one in the garage. Our friends Alex and Kim will be so proud of us!

All that left was her interviews with Cam and Ben. We still don't know exactly what she asked in those conversations, but they each lasted about 15 minutes, one on one, in the other room with the door closed. JoAnn told us that she asked each boy if we had their permission to adopt. This is a requirement of China's. She told us they both said yes.

I was really glad that this was part of the process. Because no matter how much time and energy the boys see us focusing on this, I worried that to them this might still be just some abstract dinnertime conversation. I think that having an outside third person take them aside and directly ask what they think about it makes it much more concrete and real for them.

So that's done! she will be sending the final draft of her report to the agency later this week. It will be translated and put into our dossier for China. Now that we have completed this we can apply for the I-600A, make appointments to be fingerprinted, and even apply for some grants.

And lastly, we asked JoAnn what she thought our schedule might be looking like now, She said we might be traveling as soon as May or June!

Nesting - or... Closet Excavation

A very busy weekend

On Friday Tina and I each met with our SW individually. We both felt like our meetings went well. JoAnn is very easy to talk to, and has been very helpful in providing information and perspective on international adoption. She scheduled her home visit for Tuesday; she'll meet with each of the boys at that time.

Now so you know, I think we keep the house pretty clean. We're not as compulsive about it as my sister, and we don't use a housecleaning service like my brother, so the place isn't spotless, but considering the amount of stuff we've got in the amount (or lack thereof) space we have, it's pretty clean. Okay, so that being said, a home visit from a social worker doing a "study" is probably more than enough motivation to kick the weekend chores into overdrive.

Our ultimate goal right now of course is to convert our "extra" room into a nursery. The problem with this is that this room is not really "extra". There is no extra space in the house. We don't call the room the "extra" room, we call it "The Green Room", because when we remodeled about 10 years ago, we wallpapered one of the walls dark green and decorated with green colors. We started jokingly referring to it as The Green Room. It eventually stuck, and now it is The Green Room. And that Green Room is used for everything!

Now pretty much everything has to come out of there. But where will it go? Time to rethink all the other storage spaces in the house. Step one, Scott & Tina's closet. This was a crazy idea, but it did need to happen. We bought 2 of these ClosetMAID Systems. Then we took everything (I mean EVERYTHING) out of our closet so we could install them. When we got everything out of that closet we rediscovered the walls had needed painting when we moved into that closet 18 years ago. Se we went and got spackle and paint. Good thing we got up early.

While the paint was drying we took the old dog house to the dump, and the old dresser out of our closet to GoodWill. We were ready to start installing the closet systems by about 4:00PM.

I wonder which of the language sets on the instruction sheet has all the instructions? It's not the English set. Since we had two full sets to install we actually did the second set correctly the first time through. We planned to sleep in the living room if we didn't finish the project in one day, but we pressed on through, till 1:00AM and got the whole thing put back together, and slept in our own bed. I have to say, it was worth it! Tina and I both go in the closet now and marvel at the space. It is very different than before. We took a second huge load to GoodWill the next day, and got through most of the housework. Thank goodness the SW's home visit isn't till Tuesday!

We are going to do pantry and the coat closet too. We are hoping that we will gain some more space there for relocating stuff out of The Green Room.

Soon to be "Kai's Room"!!

A Complete Set...

Cam's passport came today so now we have all four!

LOI in Translation! - Plus Nesting & Hand-Me-Downs,

We got an e-mail from Stefani, boxes from friends, and managed to dig a bit out...

We received the following email today:

From: Stefani
Date: February 3, 2005 10:58:52 AM PST
To: Tina Ocheltree <

tocheltree@mac.com

>
Subject: Re: LOI

Charlene is translating the LOI now so hopefully we'll see it off to China in the next couple of days. So glad the other Christine Ocheltree didn't hold you up and we are off and running right on schedule.

Stefani Ellison
China Program Coordinator
Children's House International

http://www.childrenshouseinternational.com

Fully Licensed in Florida, Utah, and Washington
Read about my incredible daughter Taisha at

http://www.waitingchild.org/taisha.html

This feels big, like it's really happening now. Someone is translating our letter into Chinese and it's going to be sent to the CCAA. I know that the wheels have really been in motion from the moment we sent in our application, but now the little steps we've been taking are starting to add up!

We have also begun to receive unsolicited hand-me-downs. One of Tina's pre-school parents brought her a box of clothes yesterday, and a woman I'm friends with at work brought me a bag of clothes her grandson has outgrown. It's funny looking through piles of little boy clothes.

We cleaned out a dresser to make room for the clothes. We are beginning to purge areas to make room. I think I'm going to try to take before and after pictures of the reclamation process in the "green room".

We ended our evening by watching some videos on China. We're down to the dregs of the library's collection. I'm going to have to start reading books now.

What Matters Most

I have really been enjoying writing this blog. I've gotten a lot of positive feedback, and I'm glad people are taking an interest in it.

In reading through the last several entries, some of them sound to me like I'm complaining. There is a lot of anxiety around the waiting, and the paper chase. It's easy to get caught up in the little petty details and lose perspective. Sometimes I forget what it must be like for Kai, and all the other little ones on the other side of this process.

Tina forwarded the following text to me. Our agency administrator, Stefani Ellison wrote this and posted it on a website. It makes me stop and think about why we are doing this, and helps me remember that bureaucratic mix-ups, walk-in clinic fees, and closet space doesn't matter. These are all just the little steps along the way. If we're going to get there, we need to keep focused on the goal, and not let the little stumbles along the way distract us.

So if I haven't made you cry while reading this for a while, I'll let someone else take a shot at it. This is from the perspective of someone who has been through the process of international adoption...
.

There is a reason that we call this an adoption journey. It’s because it is process and there is actually no end. Yes, the adoption is completed but its effects last a lifetime. Your mind is changed, your heart is changed, and you are no longer the person you were when you began.

So, when you come home and you don't fit in, you are right... you don't. No longer can you sit through pointless social gatherings and you become glassy eyed at the long spirited conversation your neighbors have about whose dog upset the trash can like it really matters. THINGS and the chasing, collecting and maintaining of those THINGS lose their glitter when you think of the sparkle that could be put on the face of a child for mere donated pennies or some of our time tying blankets. You lose patience with those who cannot understand the urgency of the task before you.... that children are crying. Children are dying. And the world keeps on shopping. Spending billions of dollars on things... that... don't.... matter...

When you look into the eyes of a child in the SWI you visit, your eyes never see the world the same again. Most of the world "doesn't get it" and to those that do, we must stick together because otherwise it’s a lonely place. For those of us who continually hear in the back of our minds the crying of the children left behind, we cannot rest because we cannot forget. There is no silence. Our friends, families, spouses may not understand and we ourselves may not understand why we cannot make the crying stop or make the urgency end. So we do what we can do. We give what we can give. And often, we join in the crying.