Tell Me Why, I Don't Like Mondays...

This was a Monday all right,
a Monday with a hammer in it's hand...

Okay, so we were really streaking along there, weren't we? As my sister Kris said, our feet were barely touching the ground. The wind was at our backs and we were checking off the checkboxes.

There's bound to be some little glitches along the way...

I got to work late this morning because Cameron didn't have jazz band, and I had installed a new phone system at the Waldorf school Friday night, so I wanted to be there to show the staff how to use it. When I did finally get to work I had people waiting at my desk, so I didn't check my voicemail right away. When I finally did check it I discovered our adoption social worker (SW) had left a message that she was trying to get a hold of Tina or me, but our home phone had been disconnected.

What?

I called home...

Dang, she was right. Our phone had been disconnected!

I call the phone company.

Apparently you have to pay them regularly to keep the service in place.

I give them my debit card number over the phone and they promise it'll be back up in 24 to 48 hours.

"is there anyway to expedite that?" I ask.

"I'm sorry, no," she says.

Okay, so nothing more to do there. I try calling the SW. Get the answering machine. I leave a message with my cell phone number. I call Tina's cell phone. It's turned off.

Anxious about the SW finding our phone has been disconnected, and not being able to get back to her, or contact Tina, I start stressing out.

At 4:00 I left work to go to the dentist. Yes the dentist. A Monday like this wouldn't be complete without getting a filling too.

I call Tina again from my cell phone on my way, and finally get ahold of her. She had spoken to the SW and there is a problem.

Tina's background check shows that CPS has a file on her. Yes, that's CPS, as in

Child Protection Services

. Tina is in tears. This makes no sense. Neither of us understand. While we're talking Tina is interrupted by the doorbell and I have to go get drilled.

Incomprehensible levels of stress!!

I get home and Tina is still in tears. Neither of us have ever had any transactions with CPS!

Wait, that's not true. Tina had to report a family in her preschool 10 years ago when she was worried about multiple incidents of suspicious injuries and marks on a little boy. Could this have been misfiled somehow and associated with Tina's name? The SW didn't seem to think so.

How could this be? It makes absolutely no sense!

Then Tina says, "What if it's someone eise? There used to be another Christine Ocheltree out in the county."

I don't specifically remember this, but I fire up the ol' laptop and go to "peoplefinders.com".

A search for "Christine Ocheltree" in Washington state comes back with not only my one and only, but a

doppleganger

in Snohomish county!

I quickly wrote our SW the following email:

Hi JoAnn,

Tina and I are very upset about the news that CPS has a file on Tina. This came as a huge surprise and shock to us both. As she told you, the only interaction either of us has had with CPS is when she reported a concern she had regarding one of her students at the co-op preschool.

Is there some way we can follow up on this with CPS to clear up whatever kind of mistake has been made? We want to remove this obstacle as quickly as possible. Would her filing of a report make her name show up this way, or does it mean CPS made a mistake in how the file was made?

Is it possible that they have confused her with another Christine Ocheltree? Tina recalls another Christine Ocheltree who used to live out in the county. Doing a "peoplefinder.com" search shows a 37 year old Christine Ocheltree who has lived in a number of small Snohomish County towns; is a mix-up like this possible?

Again, we are both very distressed by this, and Tina is just beside herself. I know you are doing everything you can on our behalf, but if there is anything we can be doing to try and clarify this problem as soon as possible please let us know.

I am trying really hard to not come across as the overprotective or pushy husband, but it is so upsetting to see Tina this distraught over incorrect records/confused identities, or whatever it is. Our biggest concern though, is that this might mean even more time before we are able to bring Dang Hui home.

Please keep us posted as to what the status of this issue is and what we can do to help solve it.

Thanks,

Scott Ocheltree

She called me on the phone about 20 minutes later. She thinks there could very possibly be a mixup of identities going on. She promised to find out first thing tomorrow and let us know.

Still, she says this could add several weeks to the process. Our Letter Of Intent (LOI) is on hold and is not being translated or sent to China until this is resolved. The home study can't be completed and our SW is going on vacation for two weeks, so now it may not be finished until March!

So it goes.

We know this will get straightened out, but... AAargghh! ! !




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SO THIS IS TUESDAY NOW

I just couldn't post that entry until we had some resolution to this...

I got to work late again today because I was finishing up the installation of the phone system at the Waldorf school.

When I finally did get in to my office I had a new voicemail from JoAnn, our SW.

It's all straightened out!

It WAS the other Christine Ocheltree!!

How weird is that??!! (I need to find an evil Scott Ocheltree I can blame everything on!)

JoAnn had already talked to Tina, and emails have been moving back and forth between the agency directors. Our LOI is being translated! JoAnn promised she will finish our home study before she leaves on vacation! She said on the voicemail, "It's full steam ahead!"

I think I feel the wind at our backs again, it's starting to pick up...


Dang! It's going to be a late night digging out those closets!

Starting to Make Room

So today we made some progress towards figuring out where Kai will actually fit into our house. We love our tiny little house, but the idea of adding another person is making it seem even smaller! The plan is to convert our spare room into a nursery. The problem is that this room currently functions as our guest room, holds all my magic gear, Tina's teaching gear, misc storage, sewing, etc.

We are starting by trying to maximize the functionality of all our other closets. Pack it in tighter!! Tina and I went to Lowe's and bought ClosetMAID shelf systems for our bedroom closet and the laundry closet. We got the laundry closet ones installed and they look pretty good. We've got a ways to go, but I think it's going to work. Heck, it's got to work!

After dinner, Tina and I watched one of the documentaries we got at the library yesterday. This one was on the time from 1976 to 1992, so from Mao's death to just after the student uprising in Tiananmen Square. We were curious to see what it said about the one child per family policy, and were amazed when they barely noted it, and didn't address the effects this has had on the country or the issue of abandoned children. Most of the documentaries we've watched so far have been on the history up through Mao's life, so maybe we'll find some that deal more with this.

The boys were watching a movie over at the neighbors house, but came home in time to see the army move into disperse the students from Tiananmen square. They were pretty shocked by the images. I want them to see more of these documentaries before we travel so that they will have an understanding of the significance behind the places we will get to visit.

There was a brief passage on a modern rock singer who performed protest music which was quite popular in China. The boys asked about the drinking age in China. They are hoping they will get to go to some clubs and see live music while we're there.

A Long Saturday

Weekends in our house are for sleeping in. On most weekday mornings Cam and I start at 5:30 AM. So on the weekends Tina and I like to do our impression of the grandparents in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory!

Today though, Cameron had his Solo & Ensemble violin competition at the high school. He played at 8:00 AM. I wanted him to have plenty of time to practice before we went, so we were all up at 6:00. I made oatmeal (the old fashioned way). Cam played beautifully! He got really nice comments from the judge.

When we got home, Tina and I watched the video "Adopting From China: a Video Survival Guide". Tina was hoping it would be better, but it was about what I expected. It's a relatively low budget production, but pretty nicely done. A lot of the info we already knew, but it seems to feel good hearing it again. I guess it's reassuring that you are moving in the right direction. It had good information about what to pack. Though they seemed to recommend bringing an entire pharmacy along. If we bring everything on the list, the first aid kit will be its own suitcase.

Tina had a preschool function in the afternoon, so while she was gone I cleaned out our labyrinth garden in the front yard.

A parent from the Waldorf school called yesterday and wanted to know if she could bring a Campfire group over tomorrow to walk it. I broke in the little leaf blower my mom gave me for Christmas. I used to think I didn't want to use power tools in my labyrinth, but it really worked great! My sister-in-law, Kyle took the picture above about two years ago. It looked pretty much the same today, which is weird because one night two weeks ago it looked like this:


So after Tina got back, she and I went to the library and raided their video section for tapes on China again. I think we've pretty much worked through their collection now.

After that we headed out to the mall to pay our Mervyn's bill and look at baby stuff. High chairs, car seats, toys, strollers. It's funny doing this again after some time away from parenting young children. We don't quite fit in with the other shoppers. We're too old to be having babies, but suspiciously young to be grandparents. We were just window shopping until we hit the toddler clothes at Mervyn's and they had these little play outfits with VW Beetles and vans on them. The size thing is a major puzzle? How big is he? How big will he be when we get him? Well even if this stuff doesn't fit, we had to have it. Hey, they were on sale!

When we got home we were relaxing in the living room and I got a phone call from a magic friend of mine named Paul. I had posted about our adoption on a magic email list I belong to. Paul works with an international engineering firm. He was in Shanghai when he read my news. His wife is Chinese and he had emailed me saying that if we needed anything translated she would be glad to do it for us. So anyway, I thought it was really neat that he called me on the phone. He seemed very excited for us and wanted to help. He is very knowledgeable about Japan and China. He felt we should really work hard to preserve and develop Kai's ability to speak Mandarin. He thinks it will be a very powerful and useful skill for him to have.

Travel Vaccines

Do I really have to pay $190 to watch a "professional" do a Google search?

Tina and I are still working through the process. Yesterday's big project was trying to figure out exactly what vaccines we need to travel to China. Hepatitis A and B are big concerns among the families who post on a couple websites we read.

Tina asked our doctor about Hep B vaccine. He said he didn't provide it, but we could get them from the public health department. Tina called the public health department. They said they didn't provide travel vaccines and suggested we go to a walk-in clinic.

We went to the walk-in clinic by the hospital. They explained that we would have to pay $95 each for a travel consultation with a doctor. Then we would get the vaccines recommended based on this consultation. The vaccines would cost up to $100 each. Then she said she couldn't bill our insurance provider. She called another walk-in clinic and found out they could bill our provider for us. So we drove over to the other clinic.

On the way to the other clinic I began getting skeptical regarding the value of the "consultation". Shouldn't the recommended and required vaccinations for traveling to China be easily accessible public information? I said to Tina, "Can't we just look up the info on the CDC (Center for Disease Control) website?"

So we get to the other clinic, and as we are checking in we commented on the expense. The receptionist said, "Yes, it can be quite expensive depending what the doctor finds on the CDC website during the consultation."

"The CDC website?" I blurted out, "I know the URL for the CDC website!" And I called it off. I couldn't pay $190 to have a doctor look up a website for me.

I would tell you what shots are required or recommended for traveling to China, but I'll need your credit card first. If you really want to know, you can click

HERE

to see the CDC's webpage with information on it.

Visit to the Sheriff's Office and Stuff from Amazon.com

More little steps along the path.

Today Tina and I met at the Bellingham City Police Station to get a "Letter of Goodness" as Tina likes to call it. We had to get a notarized letter stating we have no criminal history. When we got to the police station, they informed us that since our house is just out of the city limits we needed to go to the Whatcom County Sheriff's Office. Fortunately it was just down the street and they let us leave our cars in their lot. The sheriff's office was pretty quiet. We payed $15 a piece, then walked down to the Mount Bakery to get some coffee and croissants. We came back 15 minutes later and she gave us some very nice looking letters on letterhead that she had notarized stating that they weren't aware of any illegal activities on our part.

I also sent our letter of intent (LOI) in to the agency. I shipped it from work in a UPS next day letter package. It's nice having a fully stocked UPS shipping station right outside my office door! It will be translated and sent to China. We're itching now because the director posted on their website that her e-mail is down today. We want to ask her how long it will take to hear back. I'm sure we'll find out how long the wait will take soon, but we want to bug her for an answer now!

Then after dinner tonight I found where Ben hid the mail. Actually it was in plain sight, but not where it goes. Anyway, there were two videos I had ordered from Amazon.com last weekend:

Adopting From China: A Video Survival Guide

and

Big Bird In China!

We've been looking over the Amazon store; they have tons of stuff on adopting from China. This adoption video got pretty good reviews. I'll try to post what I think of it. It was only $19, and since Amazon gives you free freight if your order is over $25 I threw in the Big Bird video because it's on DVD and was only $10. I've heard it's pretty good and since it was made in 1983 I think it qualifies as "old school" Sesame Street material. Besides, most of the Chinese culture videos we've been getting at the library are pretty dry. I'm ready to see Big Bird's spin on it.

Letter of Intent

This is the text of our letter of intent (LOI) we have written to the China Center of Adoption Affairs (CCAA) . We hope they will grant us a Placement Approval (PA).

We are hoping with all of our hearts that we may be allowed to bring Dang Hui into our home and family. He was born the 20 of December, 2002, and has been well cared for at the Boading City SWI since the 30 of December, 2002. The SWI's growth report record describes Dang Hui as a sweet, inward boy who loves music and is quick to smile. He is very healthy and his development is excellent. When we first saw Dang Hui and read about his personality and interests, we felt very strongly that he would be a wonderful addition to our family. We have a deep love of music, with two older boys who play many instruments, and relatives who are music teachers.

Dang Hui was born with a deformity of his left hand, but his growth report indicates he is able to accommodate well for his disability. While we cannot tell what specific corrective measures may be necessary at this time to accommodate his needs, we know he will require physical therapy, and possibly surgery, to optimize the mobility of motion, and use of his hand.

We have a young nephew living nearby who was born with similar, though much more extensive birth defects. When we realized Dang Hui's disability was his hand, we knew we had the experience and ability to help, and the understanding for this particular special need. Our nephew was born with a condition called Arthrogryposis, meaning fixed joints and loss of muscle. This condition affects all of his limbs. Because our families live near Children's Hospital in Seattle, Washington, our nephew has received the very best care for these conditions available in the world. He has had many surgeries, gone through physical therapy and has learned to adapt. He is 10 now, and runs, rides a bike, swims, writes, and does almost everything any boy his age can do. He is very bright and attends school in a regular classroom.

Because of this experience with our nephew, we knew immediately that we have the resources to support Dang Hui's needs. Children's Hospital in Seattle is only 90 miles from our home. We also have outstanding pediatric medical care, neurological care, and early childhood special needs programs in the town where we live.

Dang Hui will have full medical insurance coverage for all of his medical needs from the moment his adoption is complete in China. His needs will be immediately assessed and met through the resources mentioned.

We realize that even with the very best medical attention, Dang Hui's hand will most likely always be different. While we hope medical treatments can help his hand to function the very best that it can, we will always love him even if nothing can ever be done and he stays just as he is. We will love him whether his hand can be treated or not. Our extended family has always treasured, loved and supported our nephew, and we know they will provide the same love and support for Dang Hui.

Christine is a preschool teacher, and works with our local school district and special needs students. She helps to identify needs, develop educational programs for these children, and works closely with their parents.

We plan to have a parent at home at all times, so Dang Hui will not be going to daycare or cared for by another person outside of our family. We have provided private school education for our two older sons, and will give Dang Hui the same opportunity. We will see that he has the very best opportunities available to meet his educational needs.

We have begun taking Chinese language classes to help us better communicate with a child who will be over the age of 2, and to be able to communicate when we travel to China. We have a very active Chinese School and community where we live; it has been an exciting privilege to be a part of it. We will continue this cultural education and connection so Dang Hui will learn to honor his native country and culture.

We would be honored to be allowed to adopt Dang Hui. We can offer him a happy, loving home with older brothers, music and outstanding educational opportunities. We will raise him to be aware and proud of his Chinese heritage. We will always be thankful for the gift of raising this child.

First Pictures First Pictures First Pictures

These are the pictures that our agency had posted on their Waiting Children website.

The Beginning of The Story...

This is a letter we sent to friends and family to tell them about Kai.

An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle but will never break.

- Based on an ancient Chinese belief

Ni Hao! (Hello!)
This note is to share the wonderful news of our new son, Andrew Kai Hui Ocheltree!

THE PLAN:
”What?” you say. A boy? Weren't you going to adopt a little girl? Yes we were, a healthy little girl, as young as possible. That was the plan. Plans are good for looking back on to see where you thought you were headed. You can also write them down on pieces of paper that you fold up and wedge under the short leg of a table. We had a plan.
Then Tina decided to start looking at the "Waiting Children" lists. Waiting Children are children with special medical needs and healthy older children. All these children have already waited too long for families. The agency and the China Center of Adoption Affairs (CCAA) work together to have families matched as quickly as possible, so the adoption process is expedited. There was one little boy on the current list who was still waiting for his family. The agency had nicknamed him "Hunter". We read his profile, it said his personality is "inward" He likes music, and moves his body to it when he hears it. He likes his dolly and balls. We looked at his pictures. He has a funny hand. We have seen hands like this before. One of our nephews has significantly more severe physical issues, but now at the age of 10, in spite of all his differences, he is doing just fine. One funny little hand didn't look like much of a problem to us. We thought we could probably figure out how to deal with it. We looked at the pictures some more. We felt the gentle tug of a thread. We started folding up our plan.

DO WE GET HIM?
We asked the agency about Hunter's status. They told us another couple was already considering adopting him. But since the agency was still waiting to hear back from them, they could fax his file to us. It was interesting to see. Most of it is in Chinese, though much of it has been roughly translated into English. Reading his story and growth reports got us very excited. There isn't a whole lot of information, but from what we can tell, he sounds like a pretty healthy child.

Our younger son, Ben (14 yrs) reminded us of our original plan. "You already have two boys," he said. "You want a little girl. You should get a little girl." We gave him the blurry fax of Hunter's file so he could read his story.

"We should go get him," Ben said.

Still, there was this other couple already considering him. We reminded ourselves of our original plan. We told ourselves not to get emotionally attached to a child who may not be the one we get. The agency administrator assured us that everything has a way of working out the way it is supposed to. We looked at his pictures on the computer some more. We read, and re-read the blurry fax pages. We told our hearts not to get ahead of the process. Why don't hearts listen?

On Thursday Tina got a call from the agency administrator. They had heard back from the other couple. They decided they aren't ready to adopt at this time. So we were at the top of the list for "Hunter". The agency thought we should have a doctor review his file, so Tina called our family doctor. He said he'd be glad to look at the file for us and gave us an appointment that very afternoon. He looked at the fax and seemed to think the same as us: there's not a whole lot of information here, but he sounds pretty healthy. We emailed the agency and said we wanted him. That evening the agency directors called us on the phone. I answered. "Are we speaking to Hunter's dad?" they asked.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?
There is still a lot to do, and frustratingly, a fair bit of time to wait. Our next step is to write a Letter of Intent (LOI), which will be sent to China. In the letter we will explain why we want to adopt this child, and how we will be able to provide for his needs. If they approve, they will send a Placement Approval (PA). In the meantime we will submit an I-600A form (To classify an alien orphan who will be adopted by a U.S. citizen as an immediate relative to allow the child to enter the U.S.) We will finish our dossier; this includes background checks, fingerprinting, lots of notarized and sealed forms, etc., and then another wait for the coveted I-171H. This will all be translated and sent to China (DTC - Dossier To China). Once that is received and approved by the government agency in China we make travel arrangements and go get him! Our best estimate right now is that this will probably happen by August.

HUNTER? DANG HUI? KAI?
His name in China, Dang Hui, was given to him by the Social Welfare Institute (SWI) where he lives. "Dang" (means the Party) because he will be raised by the Party (the SWI belongs to the government and the government belongs to the Party). "Hui" means wisdom, so. "Dang Hui" implies that the Party will raise him to become a smart intelligent person with wisdom.

We feel it is important, that as his parents, we give him his name. We want him to have a name that honors his Chinese heritage, but one that will also fit in the western world where he will live. We chose the Chinese name Kai, which means victory, and also the sea. We want to keep the name Hui as we like it's meaning: wisdom. We chose the western name Andrew, which he will share with one of his new cousins. So his full name will be, Andrew Kai Hui Ocheltree, and we plan on calling him Kai.

WHAT ABOUT THE GIRL?
A little, baby girl from China, Yes, that was definitely our original plan. I thought Tina really wanted a little girl. Tina thought I was really set on a little girl. But it turns out that what we both really want is another child. There may still be a little girl from China in our future. After all, Kai will probably need a little sister. But right now, we think our family needs Kai. We can always go back when we feel the tug of another thread.