An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle but will never break.
- Based on an ancient Chinese belief
This note is to share the wonderful news of our new son, Andrew Kai Hui Ocheltree!
THE PLAN:
”What?” you say. A boy? Weren't you going to adopt a little girl? Yes we were, a healthy little girl, as young as possible. That was the plan. Plans are good for looking back on to see where you thought you were headed. You can also write them down on pieces of paper that you fold up and wedge under the short leg of a table. We had a plan.
Then Tina decided to start looking at the "Waiting Children" lists. Waiting Children are children with special medical needs and healthy older children. All these children have already waited too long for families. The agency and the China Center of Adoption Affairs (CCAA) work together to have families matched as quickly as possible, so the adoption process is expedited. There was one little boy on the current list who was still waiting for his family. The agency had nicknamed him "Hunter". We read his profile, it said his personality is "inward" He likes music, and moves his body to it when he hears it. He likes his dolly and balls. We looked at his pictures. He has a funny hand. We have seen hands like this before. One of our nephews has significantly more severe physical issues, but now at the age of 10, in spite of all his differences, he is doing just fine. One funny little hand didn't look like much of a problem to us. We thought we could probably figure out how to deal with it. We looked at the pictures some more. We felt the gentle tug of a thread. We started folding up our plan.
DO WE GET HIM?
We asked the agency about Hunter's status. They told us another couple was already considering adopting him. But since the agency was still waiting to hear back from them, they could fax his file to us. It was interesting to see. Most of it is in Chinese, though much of it has been roughly translated into English. Reading his story and growth reports got us very excited. There isn't a whole lot of information, but from what we can tell, he sounds like a pretty healthy child.
Our younger son, Ben (14 yrs) reminded us of our original plan. "You already have two boys," he said. "You want a little girl. You should get a little girl." We gave him the blurry fax of Hunter's file so he could read his story.
"We should go get him," Ben said.
Still, there was this other couple already considering him. We reminded ourselves of our original plan. We told ourselves not to get emotionally attached to a child who may not be the one we get. The agency administrator assured us that everything has a way of working out the way it is supposed to. We looked at his pictures on the computer some more. We read, and re-read the blurry fax pages. We told our hearts not to get ahead of the process. Why don't hearts listen?
On Thursday Tina got a call from the agency administrator. They had heard back from the other couple. They decided they aren't ready to adopt at this time. So we were at the top of the list for "Hunter". The agency thought we should have a doctor review his file, so Tina called our family doctor. He said he'd be glad to look at the file for us and gave us an appointment that very afternoon. He looked at the fax and seemed to think the same as us: there's not a whole lot of information here, but he sounds pretty healthy. We emailed the agency and said we wanted him. That evening the agency directors called us on the phone. I answered. "Are we speaking to Hunter's dad?" they asked.
WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?
There is still a lot to do, and frustratingly, a fair bit of time to wait. Our next step is to write a Letter of Intent (LOI), which will be sent to China. In the letter we will explain why we want to adopt this child, and how we will be able to provide for his needs. If they approve, they will send a Placement Approval (PA). In the meantime we will submit an I-600A form (To classify an alien orphan who will be adopted by a U.S. citizen as an immediate relative to allow the child to enter the U.S.) We will finish our dossier; this includes background checks, fingerprinting, lots of notarized and sealed forms, etc., and then another wait for the coveted I-171H. This will all be translated and sent to China (DTC - Dossier To China). Once that is received and approved by the government agency in China we make travel arrangements and go get him! Our best estimate right now is that this will probably happen by August.
HUNTER? DANG HUI? KAI?
His name in China, Dang Hui, was given to him by the Social Welfare Institute (SWI) where he lives. "Dang" (means the Party) because he will be raised by the Party (the SWI belongs to the government and the government belongs to the Party). "Hui" means wisdom, so. "Dang Hui" implies that the Party will raise him to become a smart intelligent person with wisdom.
We feel it is important, that as his parents, we give him his name. We want him to have a name that honors his Chinese heritage, but one that will also fit in the western world where he will live. We chose the Chinese name Kai, which means victory, and also the sea. We want to keep the name Hui as we like it's meaning: wisdom. We chose the western name Andrew, which he will share with one of his new cousins. So his full name will be, Andrew Kai Hui Ocheltree, and we plan on calling him Kai.
WHAT ABOUT THE GIRL?
A little, baby girl from China, Yes, that was definitely our original plan. I thought Tina really wanted a little girl. Tina thought I was really set on a little girl. But it turns out that what we both really want is another child. There may still be a little girl from China in our future. After all, Kai will probably need a little sister. But right now, we think our family needs Kai. We can always go back when we feel the tug of another thread.
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